Dear Bazukulu, soon to be handed over to LDU Genetically Modified General Muhozi Kainerugaba
Uganda’s Arm-rotting dictator Museveni is a panicked and shocked man after hearing the bad news about the humiliating blows suffered by his own mistresses-ministers Molly Kamukama and Evelyn Anite in the hotly contested election primaries.
Museveni who is known to apply the country’s resources in personal interests had cleared billions of shillings for his favorite concubines Kamukama and Anite to bribe voters and make sure they are re-elected unfortunately voters maintained their commitment to ouster the NRM cartels.
Despot Museveni’s special purpose vehicle NRM counts over 10 cabinet ministers and 8 Members of Parliament who have been defeated in the primaries. The elections turned violent as Ugandans surprised incumbents denying them another chance by rallying their votes to the opposition and independent candidates.
An inside source revealed to our desk that the bedridden despot Museveni has increasingly grown unease following the losses of his party members to the opposition and independent candidates. This has resulted in calling an emergency meeting at the State House to discuss new strategies including the elimination of Ugandans’ favorite candidates from the opposition and independent side, rigging votes, intimidating, and bribing voters. The cancer-stricken dictator has directed the electoral body staff and his security forces to make sure NRM wins by hook or crook.
Meanwhile, Museveni’s right-hand man Mwesigwa Rukutana has just shot dead two voters with his AK47 rifle in Ntungamo, several violent incidents have been reported across the country as angry voters chose opposition over Museveni’s incumbents. Rigging attempts have been protested at many polling stations.
Museveni’s goose is cooked; Ugandans set to brace the epilogue of a brutal, corrupt, nepotistic, and murderous regime.